www.friendshipowasso.com
Boys tend to have a warm relationship with their mother. It is natural for a son to want to be close to her and protect her. To boys, their mother is the most beautiful, most perfect woman in the world. Her faults are practically invisible to her sons.
Fathers bring out more of a boy’s adventurous, playful side, with the possibility of more risky pranks and greater physical impact; “while the mother is for her son, the good, the welfare, the law, in a word, the Godhead in a form accessible to children,” said Henry Fredéric Amiel.
The balance of a mother/son relationship is critical for normal growth and development of the child’s personality. The boy needs to feel that he is accepted and loved unconditionally, that he can approach and seek protection at any time and will be welcomed. To deny these needs can bring about severe consequences. The hurt acquired in childhood shapes a person’s character. Physical and/or psychological abuse coming from the person who the child loves and trusts the most, will make a child feel that the world is hostile and should be handled with violence and self-defense.
So what do boys need from their mothers?
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1. Love
Tell your son how much you love him, and let it be clear. Demonstrate gestures of acceptance. He will in turn reflect that love to you and to others.
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2. Teaching
Your son wants and needs to be taught. Teach him to do good, the difference between right and wrong, to be self-sufficient and to be independent.
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3. Space to Grow
Instruct him, set good examples for him and then trust him to try things on his own.
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4. Loving Correction
Give him room to make mistakes, and to learn from them. Correcting your son’s mistakes firmly but kindly will help him want to do the right thing. Humiliating correction, on the other hand, produces the opposite effect.
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5. Limits
Setting limits is important. If a child feels that you cannot control his inappropriate behavior, he will feel like he is stronger than you and will try to manipulate you. On the other hand, if you overwhelm your son with inappropriate limits, he will feel no confidence and have difficulty getting and keeping jobs in the future. Setting appropriate limits will help him succeed.
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6. Physical contact
Hug and kiss your child. Look into his eyes, smile at him and play and laugh with him. Let your son seek your hand when he needs support, and let him meet your eyes’ approval when he is feeling insecure. Make your arms available when he is happy or needs a shoulder to cry on.
Mothers, you will discover that a son, who depends on your love and the security that it conveys, is one of the best gifts God has given you.
